About Me

“The trouble with kids today” is a phrase that always comes up.  I remember when I was young and older people would say that and now, I hear it from the mouth of my peers. 

“Don’t you remember when it was said to you?” I want to ask them.

I spent the major part of my life always trying do the “right thing”.  Trying not to ever make mistakes.  I failed at that miserably.  It’s finally caught up to me that that goal wasn’t even possible.  This entire life is rigged against us from the start.

We are in this huge earth sized playground crammed full of people who don’t know what they are doing and are making a whole range of decisions.  We have to be constantly adjusting as consequences spill out around us.  The seasons shift around us so we can’t get comfortable with one environment. New threats happen periodically and we have to figure out how to deal with them.  New things are being invented every day that have no known outcome of the impact they will have on the world and we have to make choices with what to do with them.  Every generation has the same kinds of things to deal with; new threats, new discoveries that bring new choices, same kinds of imperfect people to deal with.

So, I decided maybe that’s not the problem.  Maybe that’s actually just fine. Maybe my problem was thinking there shouldn’t be a problem.  Maybe my problem was thinking that I should not be making mistakes.

The idea of God plays a big part in religions.  But the interpretation of God can vary person by person even by people in the same religion.  Maybe because discovering who he is, is a very personal thing.  “Stand in the Light” by Jordan Smith made a big impact on my life when I was going through some hard times.  “Stand in the light and be seen as you are.”  Being seen as a flawed person takes courage.  And deciding that God is ok with me being flawed took a lot of time to get to after growing up in an authoritarian Christian home.

So why would I ever say I disagreed with someone, seemingly accusing them of being flawed?  Because standing is an action.  I believe this is a world where we are making decisions.  I have to make decisions, even if I adjust them later, to see who I am and what I choose.  There will be some people I agree with and some I don’t.  And some that agree with me and some that don’t.

I believe God wants me to learn for myself and he wants me to choose, and he is in fact cheering me on.  He will be by my side and will help me discover and learn as I go. 

I’ve decided to stand for my right to choose for myself and against the weaponizing of God.  It’s taken me a long time to recognize how religion and God are used to manipulate people.  People doing the manipulating may think they are honestly trying to help others or they may actually see it as a way to get what they want.  Whatever the reason, I want to shine a light on how God is being used against people to help myself better see how to make my decisions as well as help anyone else who is learning the same thing.  I want to stand in the light of a God who loves and cares for us all so that people who meet me can find that God if they want him.

Don’t tell me what God wants me to do. Don’t try to interpret God for me.  If you think you know how life is supposed to be, then stand in the light and be seen as you are.  Let me see you live and I will judge if I like the light you are standing in.  You stand in your light and I’ll stand in mine. Maybe we can even learn from each other.